I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
