Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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