my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
