Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
