508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
