Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
