Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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