Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize