so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize