if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
