He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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