i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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