I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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