So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
