He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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