he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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