would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
