I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
