she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
