Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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