: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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