Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
