we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
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Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
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She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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