I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
