marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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