I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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