She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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