just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
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recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
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I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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