i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
