But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
