Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
