Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
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All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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