Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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