My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
