Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
