Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
