how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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