The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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