There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
