Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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