They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
