i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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