so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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