Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize