We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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