There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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