Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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