these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
