Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
