I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
do herpes really smell.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
