Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
