My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
