and she was petting her beer can
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
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Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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