It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
