You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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