You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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