problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
