...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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