She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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