i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
