Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
