So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
