Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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